Big picture.

So, these days we're building a house. Nothing too crazy or fancy. It's a raised bungalow on a quiet street. I'd be lying if I said that it's not something I always wanted to do. The super cool thing about it is that we totally designed it along with help from our friends, Kris and Laurie. We designed it from scratch, as they say, to work for our family and the stage of life that we're at. The bedrooms are small and yet there is lots of living space. It literally feels like none of the space is wasted and that every inch of it will be used well. Our main values guiding us along the way are to be conducive to the teenage years and conducive to hospitality. The design and the flow of the house feels so true to us and that feels nothing short of fantastic.

I've also loved the creative process. This has been a super fun part that I didn't even expect. It's an opportunity to be true to myself and surround myself with what we love.
It's funny but building a house has reminded me of 18 years ago when young Steve and I were planning our wedding. I remember being overwhelmed with decisions to be made and hearing about what so-and-so did and and looking at magazines and walking through stores and so on. And I'll never forget the advice that Dave Sr. (that's what my sibs and I call my Dad) gave me. He said four words, "Be true to yourself". I'm not sure if he remembers those words or not but those words guided me then and they're guiding me again now.

We're learning as we go and we're hoping that the feel of the house is somewhere between a beach house and a cottage-y feel. Cozy, bright, warm, rustic and even a bit whimsical. 

It's been a cool opportunity to exercise some decisiveness on my part when it comes to decision making and then not to second guess the decisions once they're made. I'm growing and expanding in my stress management skills too. It's also an exercise in letting go of perfectionism. All gifts indeed.

It's been an exciting adventure and if I'm honest, it's been stressful too. 

I know it's not a problem of real stress. We get that it's a first world problem and we're not looking for sympathy in any way. For the most part, we're keeping our perspective in all of this and not letting the house building become the biggest deal in our lives. 

Some days are slow and carefree and some are full of decision making, phone calling, purchase making and budget keeping. Steve is pretty easy going about most things but once and a while we butt heads and find ourselves at odds with each other. Our patience with each other and the kids isn't always stellar. And yet, it's an opportunity to choose grace and patience and to put our relationships and connection with each other ahead of building a house. It's an opportunity to assume the best of one another over and over again.

Steve is massively hands on in this build and in English what that means is that when he is not at his day job or coaching baseball or eating or sleeping, he's at the house. This means he's not with us as much as we'd like and even though we have an almost 16 year old, a 13 year old and an 8 year old- they feel it when he's not around. I totally never anticipated this. They're extra sensitive and kinda irritable and act up in ways that I didn't expect. My role has definitely been to keep things as calm and stable on the home front as possible and the truth is that some days that is easier said than done. 

Not too long ago, I was lying awake in the early hours of the morning - which by the way is a new experience for Steve and I. We both are people who like our sleep and have zero trouble falling asleep but let me just say that since building a house we sleep less - mostly because we wake up thinking about things to do and decisions to be made and it's like our minds never really shut down. We were both just saying that never has there been a time in the eighteen years that we've been married where we wake up before our alarm clock goes off. These days we pretty much always wake up before our alarm clock goes off. Craaaazy.

Anyways, I was lying awake on that really-busy-overwhelming-I-can't-keep-up-this-pace-or-keep-my-head-above-water kind of week, it occurred to me that it won't always be this way. I mean I know that but clearly by the way it hit me, I didn't know it. You know that way, right?

It's a season and one day we'll actually be living in the house. And making memories. And hosting friends. And doing life together. Oh ya. We're not just doing this for fun or because we're crazy. For real. I took a step back and remembered the big picture. Remembering the big picture was a game changer for me. Now I remind us all (mostly myself) why we're doing what we're doing.

We're two months in and have another month (or so) to go. Can you say fast?

We're loving the adventure. It's stretched us and I know we're going to miss this journey and probably be bored when it's over.  It will be a complete win if Steve and I both still like each other and if Kris and Laurie (our friends helping us with the build) still like us. Grin.

Back to the big picture.

Isn't that true in all of life?

Maybe someone other than me needed this reminder today.

It's easy to loose sight and get bogged down and discouraged in the day-to-day.

Think about the big picture:

• In marriage
• In parenting
• In pursuing dreams
• In working out conflict
• In working toward our goals
• the list is as unique as we are and endless really...

We're not always going to be where we are. The big picture keeps us grounded and fills us with perspective and hope.

It's interesting to imagine ourselves on the other side. That place of having arrived. What would you want to say to yourself who is now in that place of not yet, that place of being in the middle?

Are there ways that you need to remind yourself of the big picture that you're working and moving toward? 

I know I sure do.