On the lookout for beauty.

Earlier this year, I realized just how much I struggle with jealousy and comparison.  I know it's one of those things that we rarely talk about.  It's hard to admit.  It's messy and it feels yucky. At the same time, it consumes a lot of our energy and our thoughts - and it feels healthy and freeing to talk about it - to bring it into the light.  I have absolutely no data to back this up and no research to prove it, but I am a girl and I'm raising girls and I talk to lots of girls and I think it's something we all struggle with.  I'm pretty confident that I'm not alone in this.

Just before summer, I decided that in hopes of conquering such ways of thinking, relating and behaving - something in me needed to change.

The words that immediately came to mind were this - be on the lookout for beauty and celebrate it.

Without telling anyone, those nine words have been an underlying theme to my summer.

And without exaggerating, it's felt like a game-changer.

I'm finding that when I am constantly on the lookout for beauty, I find it.  It's funny how that works.  I find it in creation and in circumstances and most especially in people.  When I'm tempted to be jealous or to compare myself to someone, I'm starting (slowly) to make the conscious choice to celebrate them.  To celebrate their accomplishments or their relationships or their home or their children or their wardrobe or their appearance and so on.  And guess what - it feels so much better than the alternative.

I love what the Message has to say in Philippians 4:8.

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. 

Years ago, I heard it said at a conference, that when you admire and celebrate a quality in another person, it becomes a part of you.  Such a beautiful image.  I loved it then and I love it now.  That very notion is freeing me up, little by little, to become more generous with celebrating and complimenting others.

These days, I want to be more of a cheerleader to the people around me.

Also, did you know that to receive a compliment with a genuine thank you is one of the most humble things we can do?  It's also a way of blessing the person who had the courage to speak the compliment.

There you have it, friends - want to join me and be on the lookout for beauty and celebrate it?

Note to self about family vacations.

Dear Carrie,

By the time you are preparing and packing for your next family vacation, you will have forgotten all of these lessons and so here's what you need to remember (based on previous experience of course).

The week before a vacation is just as important as the vacation itself.

The more relaxed and unwound that you can go in to a holiday, the better.  If not, it will take you days to unwind and relax from all of the stress that the 48 hours leading up to a vacation caused you.  Remember to simplify your schedule the week before a vacation.  That's right - the 7 days leading up to.  The more white space on your calender the better.  Writing lists and doing laundry and packing always takes longer than you think it will.  Always.  Give yourself space and your family will thank you.  Be extra gracious with Steve and with yourself for that matter because it's totally normal to have friction and such leading up to a holiday.

The reality is that it takes work to set aside a chunk of time to create quality time with family and build memories.  Work, I tell you.  The week before your last camping trip was packed full with way too much.  Your underestimated the time you would need both mentally and physically to get ready for a vacation.  You were so frantic that you didn't have time to anticipate the holiday in front of you.  And here's a secret -the anticipation of a holiday is a gift.  It's almost as good and as important as the holiday itself.  The anticipation of a holiday can be so life giving.  Unfortunately you left packing to the last minute.  You were stressed and your kids paid the price.  There's nothing worse than having to apologize to your kiddies for being angry/frantic/stressed Mom and then realising it's going to take you 24 hours into the vacation to unwind and relax.  Yuck.  Remember that you set the tone for your family and your kids will pick up on your vibes.

Remember too that one of your daughters who I will not name gets a little, shall we say, intense, when a vacation or a trip is coming up.  Give her the space she needs to prepare and give her the best version of yourself.

So, next time learn from the past, kay?  It's one of your best teachers.  Maybe, just maybe, this is an example of what it means in Psalm 34 when you read about pursuing peace.  Peace is not always something that comes effortlessly, although it can.  Sometimes peace is something we fight for, because the relationships in your life are worth fighting for.  Maybe peace really is something we are to pursue.  What if pursuing peace became a greater value in your life?  What if it became part of your story to a greater extent?

So breathe deep.  Anticipate.  Simplify your schedule.  Go into a holiday well rested.  Set a positive tone for your family.  Give yourself and your family LOTS of space.  And grace.

When you're getting ready for a vacation it always feels like work, but remember it's always worth it.  Just envision the relaxed pace, the time to sleep in, star gaze and savour sunsets.  Remember how being near the water enlarges and even heals your soul.  Dream about your feet on a hot sandy beach and jumping waves in icy cold crystal clear water.  Anticipate the rich conversations and the hilarious ones too.  Imagine the taste of ice cream on a sweltering hot day and the hickory smell of late-night campfires that go on forever.  Picture yourself biking along the shore of Lake Huron with many of your favourite people:  fresh air, wind in your face, sun beating down on your back, deep green-blue waves crashing on the rocky shore.  Remember how vacations have a way of solidifying your family, making you feel fully alive, binding you together and how vacations bring out the best in everyone, even you.  It's worth it.  It always is and it deserves the time needed to gear up and prepare.

With affection,
Self.

Moms set the tone.

Know what I'm learning this summer in a fresh way?

I'm learning afresh that Moms set the tone for the whole family.

Summer for me is fantastic and intense at the same time.  It reminds me, in a way, of the pre-school years when I was with my girls 24/7.  It's easy, in seasons like this, to care for everyone else and forget about caring for myself and my needs.

I'm reminded that if I'm healthy (spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally), everything runs smoother and the family as a whole is healthier.  As soon as my self care declines and I am a mess, my whole family falls apart, or so it seems.

Practically it means that I need to make sure my "cup is full" - which of course looks and feels different for all of us.  For me it means carving out time.  Time for prayer.  Time for exercise.  Time with friends.  Time to read.  Time for rest and solitude.  When my cup is full, I am more centered, balanced, positive, encouraging, able to respond (rather than react) and assume the best of others in an overall kind of way.  I'm learning that this kind of self care goes a long, long way.   When I care for myself, I do my family a huge favour.  This is never more true than when it's summer holidays.

My learning this past month (and particularly this past week) is that I have a far more influential role in my family than I often realize.

Any other Moms find this to be true?  How do you keep your cup full while you are constantly giving to your kids?

Halfway through summer....

The August long weekend marks the halfway point.  It seems that just when we've gotten into a good groove of summer - just when we've figured out that balance between having enough structure and enough margin to relax and be lazy - it's halfway over!  All the more incentive to savour the month of August, right?

So far here's what we've been LOVING this summer:

Sibling Time.

Cousin time.

Grace has been perfecting her french braids on her sisters.

Beth is loving the fact that she can ride a two-wheeler (since May).

My Mom put together a spontaneous "high tea" to celebrate the arrival of the Royal Baby, George.  Lol

Staying Cool.

This CD.



• our neighbourhood pool.
• frozen yogurt ( better known as froyo to my girls).
• I'm trying to build into my girls a fresh love for reading this summer.  I'm calling it the "summer of reading."  Currently we're listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on CD.
• I joined a Pilate's class that is within walking distance to my house.  
• For her 6th birthday, Beth got her ears pierced and she is delighted.
• These brownies (thank you Leah for the recipe!).
• We love living in the fruit belt and are buying local fruit and vegetables whenever possible.  Today we picked a bag of 65 peaches and it cost us $5.00.  Amazing.
  
• I'm loving Shaklee energy tea this summer.  Gives me a much needed boost of natural energy mid-afternoon.
• Also, the Daily Docket  has been super helpful.  It's helped me to feel productive and focused, when it's easy in the summer months to feel anything but.

I'm looking forward to the Leadership Summit next week.  Total highlight of my summer.  Can you believe Brene Brown is speaking? :)

Happy August friends!  Soak it up:)