February can be a hard month.

Earlier this month, Miss Amanda, our girls much loved piano teacher reminded me that February is a hard month.  I'm sure it will come as not surprise that we were talking about practicing piano.  

I've reminded myself and others of that as of late.  

Hard for a few reasons...
Hard when spring feels so far away.
Hard when its cold outside and the kids are going stir crazy (a.k.a. fighting) inside.
Hard when the actual hours of daylight are so limited.  

Just being aware of this reality has given me grace.  It has helped me adjust my expectations accordingly.

Because of my conversation with Amanda, I have been on the lookout for bright shining moments.  Moments to celebrate.  Moments of wonder and beauty.  Moments to remember what really matters.  I've been on the lookout for joy.  

Here are a few highlights from this month.   Some of these photos are from my camera and some are from my phone.  You'll be able to tell the difference :)

Here's Beth meeting her new nephew.  He's just two days old in this photo.  Heaven.

Saturday afternoon nap.  Love.

Snowstorm.  School was closed for the day!

My friend, Laura made me a latte one day when I dropped by to see her newly renovated kitchen.

Family day service at church.  Super fun.

On the early release day from school, the girls and I met my parents (fondly known as G and G) for lunch at IKEA.  Kids ate free that week.  Pure bonus.

I showed up at school one Thursday morning, only to find out that another Mom, Lindsay had on the exact same outfit as me.  Awkward and funny.  Lol.

I received an advance copy of this book in the mail.  

I can't forget to mention a few more.....:)

*A life group dinner where we each brought a part of the meal that represented a country we would love to visit someday.

*On February 10th, Beth lost her first tooth.  It was so exciting that she proceeded to misplace the tooth and had to write the Tooth Fairy a note explaining the loss.  The next day, after receiving money from the tooth fairy, she found the tooth, only to lose it one more time.

*Beebs (Eva) lost her glasses up north at camp earlier this month.  Never a dull moment.  But, she picked out a new pair and they are super cute and funky. I love them on her!

Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments.  We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.  Brene Brown.  Daring Greatly.  p.125.

Words for 2013.

In no particular order, my 3 words for 2013 are......

Of course it would be far too easy to just keep it simple and pick one word.  Instead I had to choose three and even that process took me 2 months.  Anyhow, here goes:

1.  Mercy (triumphs over judgement). Maybe it's because I watched Les Mis at the Theatre in January, but more likely it is because I need to grow in mercy.....toward others and toward myself.

2.  Leaning (into strengths).   I want to spend more time this year embracing and leaning into my strengths.  Less time comparing myself to others.  Less time worrying about my limitations.  More leaning.

3.  Safety.  This word is meant primarily for my marriage.  I'll try to explain.  This year I am all about growing trust and safety into my marriage.  I want to be for my husband and not against him.  I want us to be a team.  I want to make sure we are an "us" and even more importantly, I want him to know it and feel it.  Safety.

How about you?  Did you pick a word (or in my case, words) to sum up your dreams, prayers and hopes for 2013?

Mercy for a Monday

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

    His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness;

    his mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3: 21-23 

Friday was a snow day and while my kids woke up ecstatic, I on the other hand woke up feeling quite fragile.  Fragile, humble and raw.

Thankful for second chances.

Somehow the snow day seemed fitting.

You see, the previous day I had experienced a series of humbling events...

On that particular Thursday, I somehow had managed to delete 2 1/2 years worth of photos from my Macbook (amazingly, a friend was able to retrieve them).  Not too long after that, as I was still recovering from the whirlwind that had sent me into, I bumped and cracked my back fender of my car.  A couple of hours after that I wiped out on the ice.

I was in rough shape.  The fact that I have a tendency in moments like that to overreact and blow things out of proportion sure didn't help.  Did I mention that Steve was out during all of this?  I was at risk for a serious meltdown.

That night, I had to talk myself through, what Brene Brown, in her latest book Daring Greatly calls "shame resilience".

On page 80 of that book, she talks about three steps to moving through feelings of shame.  She tells her readers to trust the process.  I chose to practice those three steps that evening and into the next day.

1  Be courageous and reach out to someone.  Share your experience "with someone who has earned the right to hear it - with someone who loves us, no despite our vulnerabilities, but because of them".

2.  Practice self compassion.  Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend in the same situation - with love and respect.

3.  Own your part in all of it.  "If you own this story you get to write the ending".

I'm so thankful to have had that resource at such a time.  Praying and longing that I will become more and more a person of empathy and connection because of it.

Today it's Monday and once again I'm resting in the mercies of a new morning.

Fridays snow storm was shouting out to me of mercy, of fresh beginnings, second chances and a clean state.

In my brokenness, it covered me.  Covered me with grace.

 At Vision Night last night, the band led us in a song called 10 000 Reasons .  It followed with a time where people could get up and  share why they were thanking God in their particular season of life.  I'm kicking myself for not getting up there last night.  What I wanted to say was that I am thanking God because his mercies are new every morning.  Because he is faithful.  My new little nephew, born Thursday is fresh evidence of such goodness, beauty and grace.  Precious.  This weekend I have experienced and received God's mercy through people, especially my husband.  Because of that, I am grateful, humbled and restored.

Winter Links

Here are some of my favourite reads (and such) as of late:

These days I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  Every other Monday, Alison and Becky and I get together over lunch to chat about the book (among other things).  Seriously, this book is rocking my world.

This post on marriage.  I so appreciated the honesty and practically of this post and message.  Bravo.

This post on jealousy and regret is a must-read.  A couple of lines that really got me were:  "Our jealousy teaches us so much, if we let it" and "I've found that the slower I go, the richer life feels".  Lots to think about, for sure, in this post.

Susan Caine does this fascinating talk on TED about introverts.  You can watch it here.   I spent most of my teens and twenties desperately trying to be an extrovert.  It's only been in the last ten or so years, that I have embraced the fact that I am indeed an introvert and am learning to honour my need for space, quiet and margin.  It feels so great to be finally leaning into this and viewing it as a strength and not a weakness.

This really cool liturgy is just in time for Lent.  Can I also say that I am super excited about the gluten-free pancakes I am making for Pancake Tuesday? :)

This post on raising brave kids has super challenged me.  I need to be braver.  Simple as that.

I'm participating in this year long scripture memory challenge....and it's not too late to join.

I loved this story about community.  Super fun!

Have a great weekend, friends!  Stay warm.

p.s. Have you chosen a word or a phrase for 2013?  I'm still in the process of narrowing mine down and figuring that out.  More on that to come :)