Seven years ago, my sisters and I (and Beth who was eleven months old at the time) surprised my Mom and flew her to NYC for a long weekend to celebrate her 60th birthday. I'm not kidding when I say that it was an epic trip. It was packed full of memory making material. My mom was flying high - ten feet off the ground - and she didn't stop smiling (or talking) the ENTIRE TRIP.
At that time, Grace was almost 9 and desperate to join us. Shamelessly begging us. In an off-the-cuff comment, back then in 2008, I casually said, "tell you what, when you're 16, I'll take you to NYC".
To be frank, I wasn't overly anticipating this trip. We had just built a house and were just settling in after an exhausting season of life and in some ways financially it didn't really make sense to do this trip.
Regardless, it was a deliberate discipline of celebration. It was simply the following through of a promise.
I tried to build the weekend as much as possible around things that Grace would enjoy (hours and hours in Times Square) and things that were on her bucket list (Carlos bakery and the Brooklyn Bridge for starters). I tried to see New York through the eyes of a 16 year old and worked hard to remember what life felt like for me when I was her age. I saw myself in her so much and it wasn't long until Grace and I felt like peers and I began to remember just what 16 felt like.
I dropped any of my own personal agenda pretty quickly into our trip and decided instead to take on the posture of curiosity, which as an aside is a bit of a theme these days for me.
Curiosity. Inquiry. Less telling and more questions. More dialogue.
I realized that I hadn't spent intentional time alone with Grace for years.
I also realized that I can be hard on her and my expectations can be high.
I recalled how it was in fact Grace that made me a mom all of those years ago and how she changed my life and my story forever.
For those of you who have teens, there are times as a mom when your teen pushes you away and it stings so hard. Looking back, I think I have been fairly decent at giving Grace her space when she gives me the subtle and not so subtle hints and yet on this trip, I came to grips with the truth that while I gave her space, it was also necessary to fight for and pursue a relationship with her. In some ways, I had let her pull away without a fight. It was time for that to change.
I know my role has changed significantly in her life. These days I can coach her but not control her. She is her own person. And that's a really beautiful and healthy thing.
The trip changed me. It changed us.
I wouldn't have wanted to miss it for the world.
Here are a few fun photos.
At that time, Grace was almost 9 and desperate to join us. Shamelessly begging us. In an off-the-cuff comment, back then in 2008, I casually said, "tell you what, when you're 16, I'll take you to NYC".
At the time, the thought of having a 16 year old daughter seemed like a million years away. Little did I know that those seven years would be here in a flash.
Grace never forgot those words and as her 16th birthday approached this year, there was zero question that we were going. Of course we were.
To be frank, I wasn't overly anticipating this trip. We had just built a house and were just settling in after an exhausting season of life and in some ways financially it didn't really make sense to do this trip.
Regardless, it was a deliberate discipline of celebration. It was simply the following through of a promise.
I had no idea what I was in for.
I tried to build the weekend as much as possible around things that Grace would enjoy (hours and hours in Times Square) and things that were on her bucket list (Carlos bakery and the Brooklyn Bridge for starters). I tried to see New York through the eyes of a 16 year old and worked hard to remember what life felt like for me when I was her age. I saw myself in her so much and it wasn't long until Grace and I felt like peers and I began to remember just what 16 felt like.
I dropped any of my own personal agenda pretty quickly into our trip and decided instead to take on the posture of curiosity, which as an aside is a bit of a theme these days for me.
Curiosity. Inquiry. Less telling and more questions. More dialogue.
I realized that I hadn't spent intentional time alone with Grace for years.
I also realized that I can be hard on her and my expectations can be high.
I recalled how it was in fact Grace that made me a mom all of those years ago and how she changed my life and my story forever.
For those of you who have teens, there are times as a mom when your teen pushes you away and it stings so hard. Looking back, I think I have been fairly decent at giving Grace her space when she gives me the subtle and not so subtle hints and yet on this trip, I came to grips with the truth that while I gave her space, it was also necessary to fight for and pursue a relationship with her. In some ways, I had let her pull away without a fight. It was time for that to change.
I know my role has changed significantly in her life. These days I can coach her but not control her. She is her own person. And that's a really beautiful and healthy thing.
As we walked through the streets of Manhattan - streets that smelled like a combination of street meat, exhaust fumes and Chanel Number 5 - I was savvy and insightful enough to know that I was going to love this memory. We both were. And we do already.
The trip changed me. It changed us.
I wouldn't have wanted to miss it for the world.
Here are a few fun photos.
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| Grace checked this one off her bucket list. |
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| View from our hotel. I honestly can't say enough about the hotel we stayed at. Great location. Super clean. Reasonable and FUN and trendy (we felt like hipsters). |
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| Grand Central Station. |
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| I tried to play it cool (instead I acted like a geek) when I bumped into Kevin Bacon on 8th Avenue. I accidentally cut Grace and Kyra out of the photo. True story. Also, Grace had no idea who he was - clearly I have failed her as Mom. Time to introduce my girls to Footloose! |
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| Biking through Central Park. LOVE. |
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| Getting rained on as we biked in Central Park. |
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| East River Ferry took us to the Brooklyn Bridge. Spectacular. |
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| Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge. Wow. |
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| More B.B. What a view! |
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| We couldn't get enough of the street meat and the pastry shops around Manhattan. |
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| We made sure to see Henri Matisse's work for Beth (who is a big fan). |
