I'm pretty radical about eliminating clutter. I find it super therapeutic. My family is often frustrated with me for throwing out things that they wanted to keep or for putting away their cups and mugs while they're still drinking from them.
These days I find that so much can happen in the course of a week. In just seven days, much can change.
On Monday of last week, I found out that the engine on my car was doomed. By Wednesday evening we had picked out another vehicle and on Thursday my car just plain stopped running and had to be towed away.
Steve and our friend Chris woke up early on the morning of Good Friday and using a truck and trailer moved my vehicle from the parking lot to the car dealership. No small task, right? On the day my car broke down, I was living with the assumption that I had the long weekend to clean out my car. Seemed reasonable. What I didn't realize is that Steve and Chris would now have this task as they took the vehicle to the dealership on Friday morning. That was the last time they would see the car. In real time, what that meant was that they would spend a not insignificant amount of time cleaning the junk out of my car and out of my trunk. Last spring, I had placed bags of stuff from our house move into my trunk and had yet to remove them. Turns out my trunk is pretty big. And deep. Did I mention that we have been in our new house for quite some time now? Yikes. Embarrassing to say the least. I can only imagine that the last thing Steve and Chris wanted to be doing on the early morning hours of Good Friday is clean out my boots that needed a new zipper, picture frames, kids artwork, things that needed to be returned to Home Depot, journals, old letters (which included an acceptance letter to Brock University from 20 plus years ago....what the?). If that wasn't bad enough, they hadn't come prepared for such a task. They thought they were moving a vehicle and not a lifetime of stuff, which meant they had no boxes or garbage bags. They were throwing everything in whatever bag they could find only to discover once the trunk was cleaned out that the car keys had fallen into one of the makeshift bags which meant that everything had to be taken out and bags had to be taken apart in order for the keys to be found.
When Steve came home and shared with me this story, I got a lump in my throat and felt my eyes sting. I surprised even myself as I was overcome with shame and began to sob. I'm not entirely sure why but I felt so terrible and embarrassed.
My confession is that I'm a minimalist when it comes to many things and an absolute hoarder when it comes to my car.
I like simplicity and spaciousness and pride myself on purging and eliminating clutter and yet and all these values fly out the window the second it comes to my vehicle.
I'm the kind of person who likes to appear on the outside like I'm doing okay and yet I have a car full of junk. Junk that I don't want anyone to see. On that Good Friday morning I felt exposed for who I really was.
The message of Good Friday is that the shame and the need to hide is taken care of at the cross of Jesus. It is finished. And the message of Easter Sunday is all grace. Grace triumphs and we can live as loved children in freedom and newness of life and without shame. Easter reminds us that God makes all things new.
All things new.
It was not at all lost on me that my dead car was towed away on good Friday and that I picked up my new (to me) car on Easter Monday.
This car to me is a fresh start. Literally and spiritually.
On that Friday morning I made the choice to bury shame and perfectionism and hiding to make room for new life to be born in me. In order for new life to grow, stuff needs to die. I needed to let go of the literal junk and the shame of being a car hoarder. I needed to surrender to love and grace.
This car is to me a gift and a symbol of a fresh start. Letting go of the old car and the trunk full of junk makes room for new experiences and a sense of spaciousness and living a little bit lighter and less weighed down.
The new car is invitation to walk (or drive - haha) in freedom and grace.
Hers all the stuff that was in my old trunk and now on the floor of my garage waiting to be sorted out:
Here is my new car and my clean trunk:
Yay for new beginnings! So far my car is spotless and I'm hoping to keep it that way ;)
