In many ways, June reminds me of the month of December. I always underestimate how busy December is going to be and I often pack way more into it than I should. My friend Alison recently said that her goal for the month of June is to "add nothing new to her calendar". She inspired me and I have recently adopted her goal as my own! It's easier said than done, but margin is of utmost value to me this month and I am trying to slow down and not join the crazy train.
June is the month of year end school trips and pool parties and final report cards and .....graduation -from grade 8, high school or post secondary.
Everyone told me that high school would go by so quickly. A blink and then it's over. Funny, when I think back to being in high school, it didn't feel so much like a blink.
Next June, Grace graduates from high school and just the thought of it makes me emotional and weepy and reflective. How did the time go by so quickly? Wasn't her grade 8 graduation just last week? How can it be that the little girl who wouldn't leave my side as a toddler is now driving a car? Have I taught her all of the life lessons that she needs to know?
This same daughter just got her licence this month. Whoa.
If I could go back in time to my high school graduation, there are a few things I would want to tell my younger self. Things like this:
Education is never ever a waste of time and yet you might want to think about what that Arts degree in History will actually do for you.
Friendships are so important. Take your time and find your people. Choose friends who are safe and trustworthy (life lesson: if they talk about others, they'll talk about you). Find friends who sharpen you and cheer you on. Friends you can be yourself with.
Develop good self care habits. It's an important part of loving yourself well. I know that right now you think self care is selfish but it's not. Get enough sleep, develop a good skin care regime and invest in quality skin care products, wear sunscreen, drink lots of water and wear clothes and colours that you love and feel beautiful in. Your 43 year old self will one day thank you.
You'll make mistakes and that's okay. It just means that you're human. Every day is a fresh start. Don't be too hard on yourself. We grow from failure and it's okay to make mistakes. Don't spend your life trying to avoid making them - you'll miss out on so much. Learn from mistakes and move on.
Wear a bikini while you're young. You look fantastic. Ignore and silence that inner critical voice inside of you which would tell you otherwise.
Travel whenever possible. Be teachable. Live with a posture of curiosity. I hate to break it to you, but you don't know everything - not even close. There is so much you don't know yet. Learn from different cultures and be curious about life and about the world. The world is so much bigger and more diverse and amazing than you could ever imagine. Read as much as you can get your hands on.
Let love and not fear be the foundation and the driving force of your life. Fear is a liar anyways.
Avoid the word "should".
You're responsible for you and not for the whole world. Just relax because God is God and you're not.
Resist molds. You don't need to be copying anyone. The sooner you realize that the world needs you the better. Find your path and be true to you.
Don't panic, but your beliefs and opinions and even your theology will change and morph and evolve over time and that's a really good thing. It means that you're alive and that you're growing up.
Honour your gut - if you're in a situation or a conversation that feels uncomfortable, get out right away. Your intuition is a gift straight from heaven. Honour it and develop it. Never downplay it.
Don't apologize for your sensitivity. It's what makes you special. The world needs your sensitivity.
Don't play small. Shine bright.
Learn to ask for help (and receive it - so hard, right?) and admit when you are struggling and when you fail. All of it is a sign of strength and not weakness. Don't be a slave to image. Everyone else looks like they have it all together but guess what, they totally don't! You don't know this yet but vulnerability is strength.
Don't throw out those leg warmers, all those 80's records and denims overalls - they will come back in style one day and you'll be kicking yourself for not having them.
Stay away from people that are extreme in their theology and view of women. Fortunately you never married any of them. Extremism is never a good thing.
When that cute, lanky, tall, dark-haired boy with the baseball cap offers you a ride home from camp training, don't act like such a know it all and give him the cold shoulder. You don't know this yet, but the two of you are going to build the most meaningful life together. His journey and your journey will mesh in some pretty crazy divine ways in the years to come. He will teach you so much and bring out the very best in you. Some of your friends will be so shocked when you become a couple. Little do they know that God was working in his life long before he met you.
Read the bible and go to church and of course youth group, but mostly just learn to let God love you and rest in that love without striving - you don't have to earn His love or prove yourself - just rest in it. Rest deeply. Grow those roots deep, you're going to need them in the future when life feels shaky.
Embrace diversity. Spend time with people who are different from you and believe different things than you do. It will deepen your convictions and teach you empathy and it will enlarge your worldview and perspective. Get out of that bubble and try not to see people that are different from you as a threat. They're a gift.
Embrace your femininity. Don't apologize because you are a girl and because you love fashion and lipstick and heels and such. At the same time, develop your voice. The world needs it.
Say no to lots so that you can say yes to what matters the most to you.
Also - stop being so serious and responsible - have fun!
Recources:
Have any of you heard the song that Tim McGraw wrote for his daughter as she went off to college? Oh my. Have your Kleenex ready. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=clcNB_EUao8
And on that topic, If you're looking for a gift for a graduate in your life, I so appreciated and loved this post by Sarah http://sarahbessey.com/books-for-graduates/
