May.

It's May 1st.

May is my hands-down-favourite month.  I love it in every possible way.

On this first day of May, here are 5 reasons I love this month already:

1.  Cherry Blossoms.  Their smell is intoxicating.

2.  My favourite show is on at 10 p.m. tonight, after taking a hiatus for weeks (boo).

3.  My windows are wide, wide open.

4.  Magnolia trees are blooming.  Breathtaking.

5.  I made Dark Chocolate Sea Salted Butter Toffee from Shauna Niequist's book and it is amazing.  To die for.  It took me two tries to get it right, but it was fully worth it.  I'm in danger of eating the entire pan.  I'm halfway through her latest book,  Bread and Wine, and devouring every word.  Honestly, you should stop whatever you are doing and order it here :)

Vacation

When you spend hours planning a vacation, you hope and you anticipate, but really you don't know how it is all going to turn out.  But, you put in the time anyways.  You hope.  You dream.  You plan.  You persevere through the packing and the wining and the stress.  And then, as you are sitting in the last few hours of the setting sun, on your last full day of vacation, by the side of the pool at your resort in Florida and all you can hear is your three girls laughing and playing in the water.  You smile.  As you feel the glow of the sun warming your shoulders, as you look up at the brightest and fiercest blue sky you have seen in ages, you realize just why it was that you planned and saved and packed for this vacation.  It was for moments like these.  Moments that you want to freeze.  Moments in which you want time to stand still.  As you sit, lying on a lounge-chair watching your three girls and now your handsome husband laugh, splash and throw each other around in the pool, you think to yourself - you are going to love this memory.  As fate would have it, you forgot your camera that afternoon.  Oh well, you'll just have to capture this memory in your memory bank.  As Brene Brown would say, you lean into joy.  You won't be able to handle it any longer - the next thing is, you put down your book, take off your cover-up and jump in the water with your four favourite people on earth.  Yes.  That's exactly what you will do.  You might even go down the waterslide with your five year old.  Just because she asks you to.

Thankful hardly even begins to describe is how I feel today.  Full.  Savouring.  Treasuring.

Granted, this family vacation was our most elaborate, to be sure.  But, the thing is - we've had similar experiences and build great memories while camping on the shore of Lake Huron or staying overnight at a hotel in Niagara Falls.  There is just something sweet about setting aside time to be together.  Time to laugh.  Time to rest.  Time to invest.  Invaluable.

February can be a hard month.

Earlier this month, Miss Amanda, our girls much loved piano teacher reminded me that February is a hard month.  I'm sure it will come as not surprise that we were talking about practicing piano.  

I've reminded myself and others of that as of late.  

Hard for a few reasons...
Hard when spring feels so far away.
Hard when its cold outside and the kids are going stir crazy (a.k.a. fighting) inside.
Hard when the actual hours of daylight are so limited.  

Just being aware of this reality has given me grace.  It has helped me adjust my expectations accordingly.

Because of my conversation with Amanda, I have been on the lookout for bright shining moments.  Moments to celebrate.  Moments of wonder and beauty.  Moments to remember what really matters.  I've been on the lookout for joy.  

Here are a few highlights from this month.   Some of these photos are from my camera and some are from my phone.  You'll be able to tell the difference :)

Here's Beth meeting her new nephew.  He's just two days old in this photo.  Heaven.

Saturday afternoon nap.  Love.

Snowstorm.  School was closed for the day!

My friend, Laura made me a latte one day when I dropped by to see her newly renovated kitchen.

Family day service at church.  Super fun.

On the early release day from school, the girls and I met my parents (fondly known as G and G) for lunch at IKEA.  Kids ate free that week.  Pure bonus.

I showed up at school one Thursday morning, only to find out that another Mom, Lindsay had on the exact same outfit as me.  Awkward and funny.  Lol.

I received an advance copy of this book in the mail.  

I can't forget to mention a few more.....:)

*A life group dinner where we each brought a part of the meal that represented a country we would love to visit someday.

*On February 10th, Beth lost her first tooth.  It was so exciting that she proceeded to misplace the tooth and had to write the Tooth Fairy a note explaining the loss.  The next day, after receiving money from the tooth fairy, she found the tooth, only to lose it one more time.

*Beebs (Eva) lost her glasses up north at camp earlier this month.  Never a dull moment.  But, she picked out a new pair and they are super cute and funky. I love them on her!

Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments.  We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.  Brene Brown.  Daring Greatly.  p.125.

Words for 2013.

In no particular order, my 3 words for 2013 are......

Of course it would be far too easy to just keep it simple and pick one word.  Instead I had to choose three and even that process took me 2 months.  Anyhow, here goes:

1.  Mercy (triumphs over judgement). Maybe it's because I watched Les Mis at the Theatre in January, but more likely it is because I need to grow in mercy.....toward others and toward myself.

2.  Leaning (into strengths).   I want to spend more time this year embracing and leaning into my strengths.  Less time comparing myself to others.  Less time worrying about my limitations.  More leaning.

3.  Safety.  This word is meant primarily for my marriage.  I'll try to explain.  This year I am all about growing trust and safety into my marriage.  I want to be for my husband and not against him.  I want us to be a team.  I want to make sure we are an "us" and even more importantly, I want him to know it and feel it.  Safety.

How about you?  Did you pick a word (or in my case, words) to sum up your dreams, prayers and hopes for 2013?

Mercy for a Monday

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

    His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness;

    his mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3: 21-23 

Friday was a snow day and while my kids woke up ecstatic, I on the other hand woke up feeling quite fragile.  Fragile, humble and raw.

Thankful for second chances.

Somehow the snow day seemed fitting.

You see, the previous day I had experienced a series of humbling events...

On that particular Thursday, I somehow had managed to delete 2 1/2 years worth of photos from my Macbook (amazingly, a friend was able to retrieve them).  Not too long after that, as I was still recovering from the whirlwind that had sent me into, I bumped and cracked my back fender of my car.  A couple of hours after that I wiped out on the ice.

I was in rough shape.  The fact that I have a tendency in moments like that to overreact and blow things out of proportion sure didn't help.  Did I mention that Steve was out during all of this?  I was at risk for a serious meltdown.

That night, I had to talk myself through, what Brene Brown, in her latest book Daring Greatly calls "shame resilience".

On page 80 of that book, she talks about three steps to moving through feelings of shame.  She tells her readers to trust the process.  I chose to practice those three steps that evening and into the next day.

1  Be courageous and reach out to someone.  Share your experience "with someone who has earned the right to hear it - with someone who loves us, no despite our vulnerabilities, but because of them".

2.  Practice self compassion.  Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend in the same situation - with love and respect.

3.  Own your part in all of it.  "If you own this story you get to write the ending".

I'm so thankful to have had that resource at such a time.  Praying and longing that I will become more and more a person of empathy and connection because of it.

Today it's Monday and once again I'm resting in the mercies of a new morning.

Fridays snow storm was shouting out to me of mercy, of fresh beginnings, second chances and a clean state.

In my brokenness, it covered me.  Covered me with grace.

 At Vision Night last night, the band led us in a song called 10 000 Reasons .  It followed with a time where people could get up and  share why they were thanking God in their particular season of life.  I'm kicking myself for not getting up there last night.  What I wanted to say was that I am thanking God because his mercies are new every morning.  Because he is faithful.  My new little nephew, born Thursday is fresh evidence of such goodness, beauty and grace.  Precious.  This weekend I have experienced and received God's mercy through people, especially my husband.  Because of that, I am grateful, humbled and restored.

Winter Links

Here are some of my favourite reads (and such) as of late:

These days I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  Every other Monday, Alison and Becky and I get together over lunch to chat about the book (among other things).  Seriously, this book is rocking my world.

This post on marriage.  I so appreciated the honesty and practically of this post and message.  Bravo.

This post on jealousy and regret is a must-read.  A couple of lines that really got me were:  "Our jealousy teaches us so much, if we let it" and "I've found that the slower I go, the richer life feels".  Lots to think about, for sure, in this post.

Susan Caine does this fascinating talk on TED about introverts.  You can watch it here.   I spent most of my teens and twenties desperately trying to be an extrovert.  It's only been in the last ten or so years, that I have embraced the fact that I am indeed an introvert and am learning to honour my need for space, quiet and margin.  It feels so great to be finally leaning into this and viewing it as a strength and not a weakness.

This really cool liturgy is just in time for Lent.  Can I also say that I am super excited about the gluten-free pancakes I am making for Pancake Tuesday? :)

This post on raising brave kids has super challenged me.  I need to be braver.  Simple as that.

I'm participating in this year long scripture memory challenge....and it's not too late to join.

I loved this story about community.  Super fun!

Have a great weekend, friends!  Stay warm.

p.s. Have you chosen a word or a phrase for 2013?  I'm still in the process of narrowing mine down and figuring that out.  More on that to come :)

Parenting "a-ha" moment

It's possible that I am the last mom on the planet to learn this lesson.  It's quite likely that you already know this and I am a slow learner.

Here's the thing - I learned something huge this weekend.  Something afresh.  A light bulb moment of sorts.

The times when our kids are the most challenging and difficult to show love to are the very times when our kids most desperately need to know and receive our love.

This was a game changing realization this weekend for me.  This truth hit me yesterday like a ton of bricks.  I just had to share it.  Maybe someone else needed to be reminded of such a truth.

I know I did.

Could it be any colder?

Short Term ForecastUpdated:Friday, January 25, 2013, 11:23EST

	FridayAfternoonAfternoon: 12:00 PM - 5:59 PM	FridayEveningEvening: 6:00 PM - 11:59 PM	FridayOvernightOvernight: 12:00 AM - 5:59 AM	SaturdayMorningMorning: 6:00 AM - 11:59 AM	SaturdayAfternoonAfternoon: 12:00 PM - 5:59 PM
	Flurries	Scattered flurries	Scattered flurries	Scattered flurries	Variable cloudiness
Temp.	-6 °C	-8 °C	-9 °C	-8 °C	-3 °C
Feels Like	-12	-14	-14	-13	-6
Wind	SE  15 km/h	E  15 km/h	E  5 km/h	SE  10 km/h	NW  10 km/h
Relative Humidity	73  %	79  %	79  %	73  %	68  %
P.O.P.	70  %	60  %	40  %	40  %	20  %
Snow	1-3 cm	close to 1 cm	close to 1 cm	less than 1 cm	-

Here's the forcast I puled up for the next 2 days.   Can you say coldness?  

I'm trying to look for the positive in all of this coldness and here's what I've come up with so far:

• Hot drinks taste so much better when it's cold outside.  Hot chocolate, latte's, tea, coffee.   Amazing.    I appreciate them so much more in this weather.
• There is nothing better than flannel pajamas in this climate.
• This weather makes me want to slow down, stay home, cuddle, read books, watch t.v. and hang out with my family.
• Hats and scarves are super cute:)
• Spring is going to be so fantastic when it arrives!

How are you all staying warm?

2012 Highlights

Looking back on 2012, here are a few things I am super thankful for.  A few absolute highlights:

I.  A really cool job opportunity that fell on my lap.

2.  Our church launched a new location in my community.

3.  Saturdays became family days.

4.  Our family (okay, mainly Steve) organized an Easter breakfast and egg hunt and in the process raised a bunch of money for Kiva.

5.  Grace became a teenager.  Um, wow.

6.  I joined the 21st century and got a cell phone  :)

7.  Beth learned to swim in the deep end.

8.  Eva found the courage to sing a solo at her school Christmas concert.  So proud of her.

9.  December.  It was a month full of amazing 40th birthday celebrations that I will treasure and carry with me for a long, long time.

How about you?  What are you thankful for in 2012?

Lessons of 2012

As I look back and read over my journal and calendar from this past year, there were some obvious and reoccurring themes.  That's the way it tends to be with me.

Here are (in no particular order) some lessons I have learned (and continue to learn) as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, leader and precious child of God.

Let me just add that many were learned the hard way :)

1.  God is trustworthy.  I will wait on him.  In the "land between",  He is present, good and faithful.  I will tether myself to his faithfulness.

2.  Assume the best and not the worst of people.  Love always trusts (1 Corinthians 13:7).

3. Don't overreact.  Or blow things out of proportion.  Nothing good comes about as a result.

4.  Practice radical self care.  And compassion toward myself.  I can be way too hard on myself at times.

5.  Be brave and courageous.  "We have to be braver than we think we can be, because God is constantly calling us to be more than we are"  Madeline L'Engle

6.  Love myself.  Part of loving God is loving myself (ties into #4).

7.  Laugh.  Often.

8.  Eliminate hurry.

9.  Get lots of rest.  Fresh air too.

10.  Let my yes be yes and my no be no.  Say what I mean.   Mean what I say.

11.  Be ruled by love and not fear.  Don't make decisions out of fear, obligation or guilt.

12.  Let the kingdom of God be my priority.

13.  Speak words of life.  Words have power.  Lots of power.  Guard my tongue.

14.  Refuse to be offended.

15.   Don't tell stories that are not mine to tell.

16.  Choose to be a person of clarity.  Communicate.  Communicate.  Communicate.  Over communicate if necessary.

17.  I can only be responsible for myself.

18.  God has not given me a spirit of timidity.  Rather, one of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

19.  Be faithful in the small.

20.  It takes humility to receive compliments.  Practice humility.

21.  Practice the discipline of celebration.

22.  Tune my ears toward heaven.  Listen.  Yearn for the whisper of God.  Act on the nudges and whispers of the Holy Spirit.  Recognise and starve the enemy's whispers of lies, doubt and destruction.

23.  The best gift that I can give someone lacking in self awareness is awareness.

24.  Stand up for those who have no voice.

25.  Build my spouse up.  Especially in public.

26.  Be true to myself.  Listen to and honour my gut.

27.  Start my mornings right.

28.  God cares about my dreams.

29.  God alone is my provider.  Where God guides, He provides.

30.  Seek and you will find.  If you look for things to be thankful for, you will find them.  If you look for things to complain about, you will find them.

31.  My voice matters.

32.  I crave silence and space.

33.  It's important to renew my mind daily.

34.  My hope comes from God alone.

35.  Live in the light.

36.  Choose to be present over perfect.

37.  It's better to do something poorly than not to have done it at all.


So, there you have it!  What is one lesson you have learned (perhaps repeatedly) in 2012?

Favourite Christmas Music

One of my favourite things about Christmas is the music.

We put up decorations, a tree and outside lights.  We send cards and decorate gingerbread houses.  We love Christmas around here.  But it's Christmas music that I really love.   Pretty much as soon as Hallowe'en is over, I gradually incorporate Christmas music in our day to day lives.  I sneak it in before my family can even realize what I am doing :)

For me, it creates so much anticipation as I approach Christmas.

I also smile and remind myself that I grew up in a family where music was a huge part of our lives.  My Dad is a lover of music (that's putting it mildly) and there was rarely a day growing up that we didn't have some kind of music playing in the house...on a record player in my early years, a cassette in my early teen years and then CD's took over somewhere around the middle of my high school years.  Everything from The Beatles to Duane Eddy to Van Morrison to Johnny Cash and beyond...

Christmas was no exception.  Music played a big role.  When I think of Christmas growing up, I think of music, the smokey smell and crackling sound of a fireplace and shortbread.

Some of my all time favourite Christmas songs/albums are:

1.  Amy Grant.  I love Amy Grant Christmas albums, the first one (A Christmas Album) in particular.  I mean, who doesn't love "Tender Tennessee Christmas"?  This album makes me think of high school.  Every year I pull out that album and feel 17 again:)

2.  Happy Christmas (War is Over) - the Alarm ( 1991 Cover).  This song takes me back to Belfast, Northern Ireland, 1991.  I was at school in the U.K. for eight months and spent three of my most-favourite-weeks-ever with my relatives in Belfast.  This song was playing everywhere at that time.  In restaurants.  Outside as you shopped in town.  In Castle Court (or as we would say, the mall).  Every time I hear this song, I smile and time stands still for a moment.

3.  I watched  White Christmas for the first time when I was in university.  I fell in love.  Pretty much ever since, it has become a tradition to watch it every year.  My girls even love it.  Bing's version of the song is obviously one of my favourites.

4.  O Holy Night is my hands-down, all time favourite Christmas Hymn.  

5.  My church together with another local church put together this amazingly creative and worshipful CD.  So proud of them.  Just beautiful.  You can download it for free here.

6.  I know I'm about a decade behind, but I have just started listening to Sarah McLachlan's, "Wintersong" album  and I love it.  It's quickly becoming a favourite.

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that came to my mind first. How about you?  I'd love to hear.   What is one of your favourite Christmas songs/albums?

Practicing Gratitude

I realized it's time I paused and recognized all that I am grateful for in this particular season.  Ever needed to do just that?

Here are a few things I am grateful for:

1.  Beth is all about writing short words and she's on an absolute roll with writing.  I receive daily "love notes" from her and trust me, they never get old.

2.  I loved waking up to sunshine this morning.  What a gift.

3.  An afternoon hike today with dear friends (which included some family photos being taken!).

4.  This past week we had parent-teacher interviews.  I was reminded afresh that our girls have the most outstanding teachers.  Really fantastic people.  I'm beyond thankful.

5. The new Food and Drink magazine that my neighbour picked up for me this week.


How about you?  What are you thankful for today?