Halfway through summer....

The August long weekend marks the halfway point.  It seems that just when we've gotten into a good groove of summer - just when we've figured out that balance between having enough structure and enough margin to relax and be lazy - it's halfway over!  All the more incentive to savour the month of August, right?

So far here's what we've been LOVING this summer:

Sibling Time.

Cousin time.

Grace has been perfecting her french braids on her sisters.

Beth is loving the fact that she can ride a two-wheeler (since May).

My Mom put together a spontaneous "high tea" to celebrate the arrival of the Royal Baby, George.  Lol

Staying Cool.

This CD.



• our neighbourhood pool.
• frozen yogurt ( better known as froyo to my girls).
• I'm trying to build into my girls a fresh love for reading this summer.  I'm calling it the "summer of reading."  Currently we're listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on CD.
• I joined a Pilate's class that is within walking distance to my house.  
• For her 6th birthday, Beth got her ears pierced and she is delighted.
• These brownies (thank you Leah for the recipe!).
• We love living in the fruit belt and are buying local fruit and vegetables whenever possible.  Today we picked a bag of 65 peaches and it cost us $5.00.  Amazing.
  
• I'm loving Shaklee energy tea this summer.  Gives me a much needed boost of natural energy mid-afternoon.
• Also, the Daily Docket  has been super helpful.  It's helped me to feel productive and focused, when it's easy in the summer months to feel anything but.

I'm looking forward to the Leadership Summit next week.  Total highlight of my summer.  Can you believe Brene Brown is speaking? :)

Happy August friends!  Soak it up:)

Brad Paisley. No biggie.

Around the time that I was pregnant with Grace, Steve and I simultaneously turned into country fans.  It was gradual to begin with and now it's pretty much all we listen to.

Earlier this year, I asked Steve if there was anyone artists he would ever want to see in concert.  Casually, like only he can, he said, "sure - maybe Brad Paisley".

I chalked down that information and when it came time to planning something for our anniversary, I talked him into concert tickets.  I bought us super cheap tickets in the front row of the 400's.  The outdoor concert was last Friday.  Warm summer night.  Vibrant purple and pink sky at sunset.  We were thrilled with our seats.  The atmosphere was hilarious, in the best possible way.  We felt a bit lost without a pick up truck, cowboy hat and boots - but whatever.

Halfway through Brad's (we're now on a first name basis) performance, we noticed a security guard walk by us with 2 guitars and put them on a little tiny stage by the sound booth, in front of us.  Steve wondered out loud if Brad was going to come and perform there.  I was like, "really, you think?"  A couple of minutes later, a microphone was put up.  By now, we're getting excited.  Next thing you know, he's walking in front of us heading up to the little stage.  I yelled for Steve to pass me his iPhone and before he could blink, I was off with every 19 year old girl in my section.  He sang 3 songs.  I videotaped 2 of them.  The beginning of the video is a bit shaky (honestly, can you blame me!) but the rest is amazing!

When I was Fourteen.

This photo is from a few months ago - her braces are now OFF!)

(this photo is from last August)

My Dad, known to my girls (and my nieces and nephew) as Granda has a tendency to write spontaneous and quirky poems for certain occasions.  A few years back, I gave him a blank journal and my Mom tells me that he is filling it up with poems, stories, thoughts and such.  Warms my heart.

Yesterday was Grace's 14th birthday.  She is our oldest daughter and my parents oldest grandchild.  As my parents like to say, "we've loved her the longest".  My parents have a way of making all of us kids and grandkids feel like we're all their favourite.

In honour of her birthday, here's the poem (or "wee verse" as he would call it) that my dad, Dave Sr. wrote.

Try to envision him saying it in his thick Northern Irish accent :)

When I was fourteen

and somewhat shy,

off to the movies

my Gran and I.

Was quiet in the house,

something was wrong.

Ah yes, I remember.

At camp - Eva was gone.

All my friends,

nowhere to be seen.

In days to come,

they'll all make the scene.

July 15, 2013

Excuse the Mess.

Why blog?

Earlier this month, a friend asked me why it is that I blog?  It may have even been something along the lines of "what is the value in blogging?"

Really great question and it left me pondering.

I like questions that make me think hard.  The kind of questions that create more questions than answers.

Anyways, as I have thought and wrested about it - it became obvious.

The reason I blog is because I have to write.

I love to write.  Always have.

I like putting words together.

I need a creative outlet.

Even more specifically, I'm learning and realizing that I need to write.  It's part of the way God has wired me and part of living a wholehearted life, for me, means writing in some form.

I want to be a voice for love and goodness.

That's where blogging comes in.

So, as much it's fun for me to share thoughts and recipes and photos and so on with you, this journey actually has less to do with you and more to do with me.  It has more to do with me developing my unique voice and finding the courage, bit by bit, to put myself out there and write.  It's more about me strengthening some muscles that have grown weak and been put on the back burner for years.

Kind of uncomfortable.  But I feel alive and I like it.  It's helping me grow in vulnerability too.  Keeps me intentional about life in general.

Can anyone relate? Is there something creative in your life that you feel rising up in you?  Anyone ever felt this way about an area of art or creativity?  I'd love to hear!

June Links.

The month of June is a crazy.  Everything is wrapping up and Mom's like me are breathing deep and gearing up for summer holidays, which means having kids home 24/7.  Amazing and intense all at the same time.


My summer will hopefully consist of:

• embracing the mess, chaos and the noise of having 3 kids home.
• wearing a pony tail with my bangs pinned back for most of the summer - no time to blow dry hair.
• purchasing a membership to our local pool.
• not having to wrestle with my kids to make their school lunches :)
• lazy mornings.
• keeping fighting and whining to a minimum (hopefully!).
• being spontaneous.
• living in the moment.
• Mystery Wednesdays - new this summer (snatched idea from this post)

For the next two months, I likely will not have time to read much of anything on the Internet.  Instead, I have a stack of books that I hope to be reading here and there by the pool, beach and so on.

But here are a few things as of late that I have loved and appreciated online during the month of June:

This letter to young moms.  I loved this.  So true.

Change the Story.  Love the thought of telling a new story.

As an introvert, I resonated with this post by Donald Miller (this one's great too).

My creative sister explains how to make home made deodorant.  As someone who loves natural products, I so want to make this.  Or maybe I'll just see if I can talk her into making me some :)

I listened to this podcast on leadership as I was cleaning my house and thought it was great.

Lastly, this one by Jen Hatmaker.  Steve and I literally laughed out loud when we read it.

Enjoy and savour the last weeks of June.

C.

Press. Pause. Please.

This little girl turned 6 today.  That's right - six.

I can't even believe it.

It's hard to believe that up until six years ago, there were only four of us in this family.

Words scarcely express how much this wee girl has changed and blessed our family.  Honestly, there are not enough words.  She has made our lives richer and fuller (louder too!).  She has multiplied the drama in our home.  She has wrapped all of us around her little finger.  Her very existence has helped her big sisters, who were five-and-a-half and eight when she was born, hang on a little bit longer to their own childhoods as they live vicariously through her.  For goodness sake, her sisters run her birthday parties, help her with her homework, babysit her, plan her Hallowe'en costumes and play school with her.  At this very moment, Eva is making her birthday pancakes.  Really, the list is endless...

Today I am celebrating the past six years and desperately wanting to press pause on the next six.  How I wish I could make time slooooooow down.

Happy Birthday Beth!  We can't imagine our family without you!  You are so loved xoxo.

Rhubarb Crisp.

Admittedly, Steve and I are not the best gardeners and so last summer we (actually it was Steve and not at all me) radially simplified our backyard and made our vegetable and flower gardens smaller.  It was so liberating.  Such freedom for us!  The only thing we kept in our vegetable garden was rhubarb and raspberries - so now, it's essentially a fruit garden :)

Growing up, rhubarb was a staple in our home during the spring and summer months.  Our Mom managed to find a way to put rhubarb in every dessert, muffin and cake possible.  No joke.  I kept the rhubarb in my garden just as much for my parents as I did for me, as they "steal" some every time they come visit us in rhubarb season.

Along with a really simple rhubarb tart recipe, the other recipe I make with this tangy fruit is Rhubarb Crisp.  I cant even remember where I got the recipe, so have no way of giving credit where credit is due.  All I know is that I picked it up in a brochure from a fruit farm over a decade ago.  Technically it is called Blueberry Crisp, but you can put any fruit in it and it turns out amazing.  It's such an easy recipe and tastes heavenly.  100% comfort food.

This morning I picked some rhubarb, washed it, chopped it up and Beth and I made this:

Rhubarb Crisp
Filling:
1/2 cup of packed brown sugar
4 cups of fresh fruit
2 tbsp. cornstarch

Topping:
1/2 cup of all-purpose flour (I use gf all-purpose flour)
1/2 cup of uncooked oats
1/2 cup of packed brown sugar
1/3 cup butter

In a 9" baking pan, combine brown sugar and cornstarch.  Stir in fruit until coated.  For topping, combine flour, brown sugar and oats.  Cut in butter until crumbly.  Sprinkle over fruit.  Bake at 375F for about 30 minutes or until bubbling and golden.  Increase baking time to 45 minutes for frozen fruit.

Serve it warm with some vanilla ice cream and it's pure heaven.

ReBar Chocolate Cake.

 It was Steve's 40th Birthday this month.  I had so much fun planning his party and his request was for a chocolate cake.  I began frantically searching around looking for the best chocolate cake, when all of a sudden, out of the blue - it hit me.  My Mom makes the most amazing and seriously decadent chocolate cake.  She got the recipe from my sisters' book, called the Rebar Cookbook - named after a restaurant in Victoria, B.C.  Rebar is a super trendy and hip restaurant known for it's vegan and vegetarian menu.

Because I was prepared to pay for a cake, I called my Mom and asked her if maybe, just maybe I could hire her to bake me two of these divine cakes.  I'd be lost without that woman.  If you know my Mom, then you'll know that she didn't even hesitate to say yes, of course she wouldn't let me pay her and truth be told, she was honoured.

So, last night while the campfire was glowing - I served it to our friends - on that lovely, candlelit, western-themed, cool evening - with fresh raspberries on the side.  It was the biggest hit.

Here's the recipe.  It's honestly the best chocolate cake.

Cake
1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
1 1/2 cups unbleached flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup strong coffee (in place of coffee increase the buttermilk by 1/4 cup + 1/2 cup of water)
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/3 cup + 2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 eggs (1 whole egg + 1 egg yolk)
1 tsp vanilla

Cake filling
5 oz milk chocolate
5 oz dark chocolate
1/2 lb unsalted butter, softened
1/4 lb cream cheese, spreadable
1 tsp vanilla

Ganache
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tbsp unsalted butter
5 oz semi-sweet chocolate

Method
1. Pre-heat oven to 350 F. Prepare three 8″ cake pans with oiled parchment cut to fit the bottoms of the pans. Set aside.

2. Combine the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, soda and salt in the bowl of a mixer and whisk on low to combine, making sure it is lump-free. Add the coffee, buttermilk, oil, eggs and vanilla and mix on medium-low for 2 minutes, stopping to scrape down the sides. The batter will be pourable.

3. Divide the batter among the prepared pans and bake for 15 minutes until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let the cakes cool before removing them from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack. Remove parchment papers before assembling.

4. Next, prepare the cake filling. Melt the milk and dark chocolates in a double boiler and stir until smooth. Cool 10 minutes. Cream together the butter, cream cheese and vanilla. Mix the cooled chocolate into the creamed mixture. Next, prepare the ganache by heating the cream and butter to just before the scalding point. Pour the cream over the chopped chocolate and let rest for 3 minutes, then whisk gently (to avoid incorporating air as much as possible) until melted and smooth. Cool slightly.

5. To assemble the cake, place one of the cake layers on a cooling rack with a large baking sheet underneath to catch drips. Evenly spread half of the filling over the layer, then position a second layer on top. Repeat with remaining filling, saving a small amount to thinly spread over the top. Chill 10 minutes. Next, slowly pour the warm chocolate ganache over the entire cake while carefully spreading it with a large metal icing spatula to make a smooth surface. Carefully transfer the cake onto a plate and into the fridge to set.


Enjoy!  You can also order the Rebar Cookbook from Amazon:

GF Baking Class.

For my mom's 65th birthday, my two sisters and I decided to surprise our Mom and give her an experiential gift, along with some time spent with us.  We decided to attend a cooking class together at a cooking studio in uptown Waterloo. You can check it out here.  

Before I go any further, I must pause and give all credit to my sisters who came up with the idea.  If it were up to me, I would have chosen something predictable like pedicures.  And here's the thing, our Mom LOVED it.  It was something that she would never (and I mean never) normally do and it was super fun for us to do together.  We laughed lots.  Hopefully we didn't distract the other 4 members of the class.  Who am I kidding?  I'm sure we did.  They probably hated us.

The funny thing was that this particular class was a gluten-free baking class.  To be totally honest, we picked it based on the day that worked best for us, more than on the focus of the class.  However, it completely worked out to my benefit as I am (mostly) gluten free. :)

Our menu consisted of:

Pumpkin Cornmeal Pancakes with Blueberries and Cinnamon Maple Syrup

Gluten-free Strawberry Scones with Lemon Curd

Roasted Heirloom Tomato Tart

Chocolate Souffle Cookies

Everything was delish.  One of my favourtite take-a-ways from the class was learning how to make my own batch of gluten-free all-purpose flour.  I can't wait to make it and substitute it in my favourtie recipes that call for wheat flour.   Not to mention, it's way cheaper than buying gluten-free all-purpose flour already made up and packaged.  I'll be making a trip to Bulk Barn this week :)

Here's the recipe:

1 1/4 cups of brown rice flour

1 1/4 cups of white rice flour

1 cup tapioca flour

1 cup sweet rice flour

1/2 tsp. xantham gum

Turns out the day was a total success.  Even my nephew loved it!

p.s.  the homemade lemon curd was to die for!

May.

It's May 1st.

May is my hands-down-favourite month.  I love it in every possible way.

On this first day of May, here are 5 reasons I love this month already:

1.  Cherry Blossoms.  Their smell is intoxicating.

2.  My favourite show is on at 10 p.m. tonight, after taking a hiatus for weeks (boo).

3.  My windows are wide, wide open.

4.  Magnolia trees are blooming.  Breathtaking.

5.  I made Dark Chocolate Sea Salted Butter Toffee from Shauna Niequist's book and it is amazing.  To die for.  It took me two tries to get it right, but it was fully worth it.  I'm in danger of eating the entire pan.  I'm halfway through her latest book,  Bread and Wine, and devouring every word.  Honestly, you should stop whatever you are doing and order it here :)

Vacation

When you spend hours planning a vacation, you hope and you anticipate, but really you don't know how it is all going to turn out.  But, you put in the time anyways.  You hope.  You dream.  You plan.  You persevere through the packing and the wining and the stress.  And then, as you are sitting in the last few hours of the setting sun, on your last full day of vacation, by the side of the pool at your resort in Florida and all you can hear is your three girls laughing and playing in the water.  You smile.  As you feel the glow of the sun warming your shoulders, as you look up at the brightest and fiercest blue sky you have seen in ages, you realize just why it was that you planned and saved and packed for this vacation.  It was for moments like these.  Moments that you want to freeze.  Moments in which you want time to stand still.  As you sit, lying on a lounge-chair watching your three girls and now your handsome husband laugh, splash and throw each other around in the pool, you think to yourself - you are going to love this memory.  As fate would have it, you forgot your camera that afternoon.  Oh well, you'll just have to capture this memory in your memory bank.  As Brene Brown would say, you lean into joy.  You won't be able to handle it any longer - the next thing is, you put down your book, take off your cover-up and jump in the water with your four favourite people on earth.  Yes.  That's exactly what you will do.  You might even go down the waterslide with your five year old.  Just because she asks you to.

Thankful hardly even begins to describe is how I feel today.  Full.  Savouring.  Treasuring.

Granted, this family vacation was our most elaborate, to be sure.  But, the thing is - we've had similar experiences and build great memories while camping on the shore of Lake Huron or staying overnight at a hotel in Niagara Falls.  There is just something sweet about setting aside time to be together.  Time to laugh.  Time to rest.  Time to invest.  Invaluable.

February can be a hard month.

Earlier this month, Miss Amanda, our girls much loved piano teacher reminded me that February is a hard month.  I'm sure it will come as not surprise that we were talking about practicing piano.  

I've reminded myself and others of that as of late.  

Hard for a few reasons...
Hard when spring feels so far away.
Hard when its cold outside and the kids are going stir crazy (a.k.a. fighting) inside.
Hard when the actual hours of daylight are so limited.  

Just being aware of this reality has given me grace.  It has helped me adjust my expectations accordingly.

Because of my conversation with Amanda, I have been on the lookout for bright shining moments.  Moments to celebrate.  Moments of wonder and beauty.  Moments to remember what really matters.  I've been on the lookout for joy.  

Here are a few highlights from this month.   Some of these photos are from my camera and some are from my phone.  You'll be able to tell the difference :)

Here's Beth meeting her new nephew.  He's just two days old in this photo.  Heaven.

Saturday afternoon nap.  Love.

Snowstorm.  School was closed for the day!

My friend, Laura made me a latte one day when I dropped by to see her newly renovated kitchen.

Family day service at church.  Super fun.

On the early release day from school, the girls and I met my parents (fondly known as G and G) for lunch at IKEA.  Kids ate free that week.  Pure bonus.

I showed up at school one Thursday morning, only to find out that another Mom, Lindsay had on the exact same outfit as me.  Awkward and funny.  Lol.

I received an advance copy of this book in the mail.  

I can't forget to mention a few more.....:)

*A life group dinner where we each brought a part of the meal that represented a country we would love to visit someday.

*On February 10th, Beth lost her first tooth.  It was so exciting that she proceeded to misplace the tooth and had to write the Tooth Fairy a note explaining the loss.  The next day, after receiving money from the tooth fairy, she found the tooth, only to lose it one more time.

*Beebs (Eva) lost her glasses up north at camp earlier this month.  Never a dull moment.  But, she picked out a new pair and they are super cute and funky. I love them on her!

Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments.  We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.  Brene Brown.  Daring Greatly.  p.125.

Words for 2013.

In no particular order, my 3 words for 2013 are......

Of course it would be far too easy to just keep it simple and pick one word.  Instead I had to choose three and even that process took me 2 months.  Anyhow, here goes:

1.  Mercy (triumphs over judgement). Maybe it's because I watched Les Mis at the Theatre in January, but more likely it is because I need to grow in mercy.....toward others and toward myself.

2.  Leaning (into strengths).   I want to spend more time this year embracing and leaning into my strengths.  Less time comparing myself to others.  Less time worrying about my limitations.  More leaning.

3.  Safety.  This word is meant primarily for my marriage.  I'll try to explain.  This year I am all about growing trust and safety into my marriage.  I want to be for my husband and not against him.  I want us to be a team.  I want to make sure we are an "us" and even more importantly, I want him to know it and feel it.  Safety.

How about you?  Did you pick a word (or in my case, words) to sum up your dreams, prayers and hopes for 2013?

Mercy for a Monday

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

    His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness;

    his mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3: 21-23 

Friday was a snow day and while my kids woke up ecstatic, I on the other hand woke up feeling quite fragile.  Fragile, humble and raw.

Thankful for second chances.

Somehow the snow day seemed fitting.

You see, the previous day I had experienced a series of humbling events...

On that particular Thursday, I somehow had managed to delete 2 1/2 years worth of photos from my Macbook (amazingly, a friend was able to retrieve them).  Not too long after that, as I was still recovering from the whirlwind that had sent me into, I bumped and cracked my back fender of my car.  A couple of hours after that I wiped out on the ice.

I was in rough shape.  The fact that I have a tendency in moments like that to overreact and blow things out of proportion sure didn't help.  Did I mention that Steve was out during all of this?  I was at risk for a serious meltdown.

That night, I had to talk myself through, what Brene Brown, in her latest book Daring Greatly calls "shame resilience".

On page 80 of that book, she talks about three steps to moving through feelings of shame.  She tells her readers to trust the process.  I chose to practice those three steps that evening and into the next day.

1  Be courageous and reach out to someone.  Share your experience "with someone who has earned the right to hear it - with someone who loves us, no despite our vulnerabilities, but because of them".

2.  Practice self compassion.  Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend in the same situation - with love and respect.

3.  Own your part in all of it.  "If you own this story you get to write the ending".

I'm so thankful to have had that resource at such a time.  Praying and longing that I will become more and more a person of empathy and connection because of it.

Today it's Monday and once again I'm resting in the mercies of a new morning.

Fridays snow storm was shouting out to me of mercy, of fresh beginnings, second chances and a clean state.

In my brokenness, it covered me.  Covered me with grace.

 At Vision Night last night, the band led us in a song called 10 000 Reasons .  It followed with a time where people could get up and  share why they were thanking God in their particular season of life.  I'm kicking myself for not getting up there last night.  What I wanted to say was that I am thanking God because his mercies are new every morning.  Because he is faithful.  My new little nephew, born Thursday is fresh evidence of such goodness, beauty and grace.  Precious.  This weekend I have experienced and received God's mercy through people, especially my husband.  Because of that, I am grateful, humbled and restored.

Winter Links

Here are some of my favourite reads (and such) as of late:

These days I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  Every other Monday, Alison and Becky and I get together over lunch to chat about the book (among other things).  Seriously, this book is rocking my world.

This post on marriage.  I so appreciated the honesty and practically of this post and message.  Bravo.

This post on jealousy and regret is a must-read.  A couple of lines that really got me were:  "Our jealousy teaches us so much, if we let it" and "I've found that the slower I go, the richer life feels".  Lots to think about, for sure, in this post.

Susan Caine does this fascinating talk on TED about introverts.  You can watch it here.   I spent most of my teens and twenties desperately trying to be an extrovert.  It's only been in the last ten or so years, that I have embraced the fact that I am indeed an introvert and am learning to honour my need for space, quiet and margin.  It feels so great to be finally leaning into this and viewing it as a strength and not a weakness.

This really cool liturgy is just in time for Lent.  Can I also say that I am super excited about the gluten-free pancakes I am making for Pancake Tuesday? :)

This post on raising brave kids has super challenged me.  I need to be braver.  Simple as that.

I'm participating in this year long scripture memory challenge....and it's not too late to join.

I loved this story about community.  Super fun!

Have a great weekend, friends!  Stay warm.

p.s. Have you chosen a word or a phrase for 2013?  I'm still in the process of narrowing mine down and figuring that out.  More on that to come :)