Of course I can't pick just one. That would be way too easy and I'm far too complicated and contemplative for that :)
So without further delay, here are my guiding words for 2014...
My overarching theme for 2014 is to be ruled by love. I want love to rule my heart, mind, decisions and of course, my relationships. I've been realizing that more often that not, fear is my default. In 2014, I'm committed to changing that - committed to making love my default. I'm longing to to be ruled by love and not fear, judgement, shame or condemnation.
What do I mean by being ruled by fear? I'm talking about when I am tempted toward perfectionism and image control. People pleasing. Making decisions because I feel obligated to do something instead of being drawn to make a decision or commitment. The need to be in control. Being afraid of conflict or suppressing my feelings. Insecurity. Lack of trust. Beating myself up over past mistakes. I'm learning and coming to terms with the reality that all of these are rooted in fear.
I want to be ruled by love. I want to live light and carefree, to learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I want to open my hands wider and unclench my fists. To show mercy and compassion toward myself and others. To learn what it means to walk in step with the Spirit. To live with surrender. And forgiveness. To love deeply and with abandon. To trust like a little child. To embrace uncertainty and imperfection. To share my heart. I want love to become my default.
I choose love and so I'm giving up fear - not just for lent, but for all of 2014. I'm asking God to write LOVE on the tablet of my heart (Proverbs 3:3). I'm desiring it to mark me and define me.
I want to open my hands wider and unclench my fists. To show mercy and compassion toward myself and others. To learn what it means to walk in step with the Spirit. To live with surrender. And forgiveness. To love deeply and with abandon. To trust like a little child. To embrace uncertainty and imperfection. To share my heart. I want love to become my default.
I choose love and so I'm giving up fear - not just for lent, but for all of 2014. I'm asking God to write LOVE on the tablet of my heart (Proverbs 3:3). I'm desiring it to mark me and define me.
Love is my true identity. Now I just need to walk in it.
Under that umbrella of the rule of love comes a few more guiding theme words...
1. Listen.
The idea behind this is speaking less and listening more.
It's about being quick to listen, slow to speak.
Slow to interrupt. Slow to argue. Slow to be defensive. Slow to become offended. Slow to have the last word.
It's about asking better questions and being more others oriented. It's about having the discipline to only give my opinions when asked.
It's about really listening. And not just thinking about what I'm about to say next. It's about developing the discernment to know when to speak and when to be quiet. Tricky indeed.
2. Clarity.
Along with this goes the idea of letting my 'yes be yes and my no being no'. Saying what I mean. Not allowing feelings to build up or become repressed (especially since I'm learning that as an Enneagram 1, my vice is resentment - I want to be aware and careful).
Clarity means truth telling. It means no games.
The nice thing about a spouse (well there are lots, really) is that Steve is helping me see how sometimes I lack clarity when communicating and I don't always come right out and say what I mean. I'd love that to change in 2014.
In summary, listen - clarity - the rule of LOVE. Those are my guiding words for 2014.
So, there you have it. A few months late, but no biggie. Here we go...
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:3
